Death becomes him
by okayserasera
Summary: Hinata clinches her jaw and thinks of Neji, Neji who now is dead as she remains alive. She does not feel angry at this. That would imply Hinata feels anything other than bitter at the subject. Character death.
Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, not me, no profit involved. Warnings for mentions of Main Family fuckery towards the Branch Family, OOC!murdery!Hinata, and character deaths.

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Hyuugas do not anger like any other, Hinata thinks idly as mist brushes her skin, or to be more precise, Hyugas do not feel anger. To be angry would be to fight fate, to accept things would always be as they were. Hinata clinches her jaw and thinks of Neji, Neji who now is dead as she remains alive. She does not feel angry at this. That would imply Hinata feels anything other than bitter at the subject.

Hinata twiddles her thumbs and twirls a finger in her hair, feeling the senbon buried in its blue-black depths. He will be joining her soon. Good. She will remain even-tempered and calm, as befits a lady and a killer. _Neji's killer,_ one thought out of the many swirling in her head tells her. Hinata represses this for, as Hinata has long since learned, she is good at repressing thoughts that do not suit her. A Hyuga's self-preservation, her father had once drunkenly called it.

Still, if Hinata did not know any better, she would say the thing she is feeling now is something close to anger. But Hinata is gentle, Hinata is patient, Hinata is kind—all things a dutiful daughter of the Hyuga should be. Hinata does not get angry as she fidgets with sunflowers in her hands before her cousin's grave. To be angry at something unchangeable would be to fight fate, to accept things would always be as they were.

"Neji died doing his duty to protect one of the Main House," says her Great-Grandfather as he approaches her from behind, "and grieving is unbecoming of him dying to do what he was Fated to do. You dishonor him. The weak die to protect the strong, Hinata-sama, that is the way it always has been, the way it always will be. What do you think Neji-kun would think if he could see you like this right now?"

 _He would say, "Do not grieve Hinata-sama. I died for you whom I love like a sister and Naruto and for a better future, for you changing the Hyugas to be as they should,"_ Hinata thinks serenely as the lifeless granite stone in front of her. The words inscribed into its surface will never change—unchanging throughout time as Neji's ultimate fate. Death. Yet, as Hinata thinks, that would be easy enough for Neji to say. He was never one for changing his opinions unless they suited him. She supposes they have that in common.

Hinata inhales and lets her eyes flutter open then close quick as a butterfly landing on her eyelashes. Neji would be proud at her control, at her stone-like fortitude now. He always thought he was one of the few who saw her as she truly was: demure and peaceful and like silk hiding steel—something that needed protecting yet somehow remaining strong. She smiles and wonders why none of the men in her life can see the threat behind her smiles.

"You are, as always correct, Great-Grandfather," Hinata hears her voice saying as if—if only, if only—she is not the one controlling her own Fate, "Death becomes him much better than life ever could. And the weak die to protect the strong."

Great-Grandfather nods and waves a hand so wrinkled and knobbed by time Hinata doubts it is still human. After all, everyone loses their humanity at some point. Hinata lost hers in the dribble of blood down Neji's throat in that wet battlefield. How dare he? Hinata bites her lip as she realizes she does not know whether she is referring to Neji or Great-Grandfather. He had been smiling when he died, and Hinata had never seen him smile before. Or since, for that matter.

All she wanted was him to be like a Brother. To have him walk her down the aisle with sunflowers in her hands the day she became Naruto-kun's bride. But he was not her Brother. His Seal made him a servant even if he escaped it on his own terms in the end. She sees that now and wonders why no one else does. A generation repeated itself—just like Uncle Hizashi before him. And the only sunflowers are the ones she leaves at his grave—just like Father does at Uncle's. A generation repeated itself.

"I have a matter of great importance to speak to you about—something on which I know your father will not agree—but you must understand traditions must be upheld," the old man beside her says as if Neji's grave is the most appropriate place to have this conversation, "with your … association with Uzumaki Naruto who will undoubtedly become the next Hokage, the elders have decided to reinstate you as clan heir. Of course, tradition means since you are the stronger candidate, Hanabi-chan and her descendants must accept their place and be Seal—"

 _No_ , is the only thing Hinata thinks at this. No more. No, she will not hear the end of that sentence.

Great-Grandfather does not finish his sentence as Hinata lets her fingertips on and off his heart light as a butterfly. One of the benefits of being friends with Tsunade's apprentice is Hinata long ago learned what chakra points to push if she wishes for a man to stop living.

Hinata has waited a long time itching to use this information, but Hinata is patient.

"Death also becomes you better than life ever could as well, Great-Grandfather," Hinata explains as if to a child, "but for different reasons, I suppose. In your case, your death will mean a new blooming of the Hyuga houses—both of them. Fate will be left to that—actual Fate as scripted by the gods if there are any or those who work hard enough to write their own Fates—not old men using fake words and ideas of Fate and strength to justify their fear and their weakness and their Seals."

Hinata would worry someone would realize Great-Grandfather's imminent cardiac arrest was her doing, but Hinata is always gentle, even when killing. Her use of chakra is soft and natural as Death is said to be. It was his time, people will say.

Great-Grandfather gasps and Hinata considers reaching for the poisoned senbon behind her ear to make his end quicker. But Hinata is not feeling kind. And if someone thinks to give Great-Grandfather an autopsy, it will show. Hinata tells herself she is not being vindictive, only practical. Like Neji would want her to be. Neji would want it to end.

She remembers Neji with tears in his eyes after his Father's death. She remembers him writhing on the floor, mark on his head branding him. And her. She remembers the other Branch members—ones that were pregnant when they rather would not be, ones suffering the ever-present Branch "migraines"—afraid to look her in the eye as a child, even though she was always the one cowering. Not in fear, like Father thought, but shame. Hinata has been planning this a long time. If only Neji had not—

Hinata leans over Great-Grandfather one last time and presses her lips to his cheek, murmuring to the dying man since he is the only one she can tell, "Goodbye, Great-Grandfather. I hope it pleases you to know that the other ones who will not be able to take my direction will come down with a case of the whooping cough in a week's time. It's strange how these things can happen. Of course, with Naruto's—and Father's, I suppose—I will take this tragedy of the death to make an opportunity and life, for the Hyugas to grow as one whole tree instead of trunks and branches."

Great-Grandfather opens his mouth to say something, but Hinata cannot hear anything come out. She wonders if he would object to her use of the misappropriated metaphor, finding it even more scandalous than her rebellion against his teachings, and decides to discard this thought. She cannot bring herself to care. Now, he is fated to die and she to live. See, Hinata is a dutiful daughter of the Hyuga after all.

A generation repeated itself.

She watches as Great-Grandfather stop breathing and allows the tears she has not allowed herself to shed since Neji's death appear in her eyes. One has to keep up appearances after all.

But finally, finally Hinata lets herself feel anger. Not at Great-Grandfather. Not at herself for doing something like Uchiha Itachi once did—though this realization does make Hinata shudder. Internally, though, for she must maintain her façade if she is to lie to her own family in the upcoming weeks. A few deaths to improve the lives of so many others. And it is not as if anyone will know. Naruto-kun sees her as his sweet dove, Hanabi as her angelic older sister, Father as the reincarnation as his martyred wife. For them to think otherwise … it would upset them. And the only person that would think otherwise cannot think anymore anyways. Hinata feels anger once again, but fails to force it down. Instead, she forces a smile.

She wonders why no one sees the threats behind her smiles.

Hinata, as always, smiles calmly, sweetly. And still, she is—

And still, she is angry at Neji. There was a time when she thought his eyes could see everything, but he could not even live long enough to see this. To live long enough to be _free_ and _smile_. Hinata knows she is bitter, and Hinata knows that she is not kind. This is not logical. If she had died, then she could not live to see her plans to fruition and make sure the other Branch members were free, at the very least. And still—

Hinata presses her lips to the tombstone, warm flesh warming the cold marble light and fleeting as a butterfly's touch.

"In the end, cousin," she whispers as light as the caresses she cannot give him, "I'm angry because you did not live long enough. Silly, I know, but that doesn't change anything. You wrote your own fate—one of freedom—but it was a fate that led to Death. It becomes you though—" Hinata begins to sob, a point in her favor as it will make her grief over Great-Grandfather's death more realistic—"freedom or dying, I know not which. I just wish you could be alive." She tosses the sunflowers down.

The grave does not respond, and Hinata does not expect it to. The dead are the only ones that haunt Hinata anyways, the only ones she talks to.

As she turns away to lie to those she loves, Hinata cannot stop thinking: Death made Neji happier than she ever could.


End file.
